Ironically enough, right after I posted my last entry, I "wiped out". I passed out, hit my head, and ended up in the hospital for the rest of the night. Thankfully, besides the swelling, bruising, black eye, and ugly scratch on my face- no serious injury was done.
Just as I am uniquely familiar with the ocean, I've had more than enough experience as a patient in the hospital. I've been to the doctor more than I've been to any parties. I can list off my lengthy list of medications faster than I could tell you the names of the characters on Jersey Shore (hate that show). And I've been told multiple times that I am pancreas model worthy. So, It does make it easier that I know what to expect and what to be prepared with. The machines, monitors, and needles don't phase me. It's usually the bedside manner or the repetitive questions about my disease that I struggle with the most. On this trip, I hadn't been in that much pain since my surgeries in 2008. The last thing I wanted to do was listen to any disbelief or controversy over "this fatigue disease". I'm grateful my doctors weren't clueless or rude. Yes, my parents raised me to say "sir" and "ma'am", even at 4 in the morning, I will still address you as such. (Really, one doctor once was severely offended by this!) I may be young, but I'm not completely reckless and niave...
Going to the hospital becomes extra stressful when you show up with a lengthy medical history. You can assume you already know more about your body than they do, but you hope for understanding doctors who can listen. We didn't need the ER docs to figure out why, we just needed to make sure my brain wasn't as rattled as I was from the fall.
So no major injury, and I'm healing up just fine. Thank goodness for my amazing friends and my boyfriend who were willing to just hang out and watch me recover all day yesterday.
And if that wasn't enough, I fell today. Again. This time, I think it was just because I lost my balance.. But I landed on my head. Again. Ugh. Frustrating. And SO. Very. Painful. but what can I do but move forward?
For those of you reading with similar problems, this feeling is definitely relatable. Just keep going. Persistence is so importance. I'm learning it's okay to lean on those we need, but it's even more vital to have faith in yourself... even if your body is failing you. I'm more than ME/CFS and POTS. It's definitely unsettling to have these setbacks, but I know I can't stay down forever. I'm stronger than any crash or wipe-out. I've just gotta learn to ride these crazy waves in.